The catechist of the Resurrection Cathedral in Semey, Vitaly Aleksandrovich Yavkin, talks about this and much more.

On Easter, many people visit the cemetery where the graves of their loved ones are located. Unfortunately, in some families there is a blasphemous custom of drinking alcohol on this day. But even those who do not do this often do not know how exactly one can and should correctly remember the dead. And even more so, not many people know why parent’s day is called Radonitsa and is celebrated precisely on the 9th day after Easter.

On Tuesday of the second week of Easter, which is called St. Thomas Week, the Orthodox Church celebrates Radonitsa - the day of special remembrance of the dead, the first after Easter. This is an ancient Christian holiday, which John Chrysostom mentioned at the beginning of the fourth century.

On Radonitsa it was customary, and this continues to this day, for families to go to cemeteries, to the graves of their loved ones and relatives, to mourn them, experiencing their loss once again, to remember them, listing their good deeds that the deceased performed during their earthly life, remember the good distinctive features of their character, as if talking to the deceased, believing that they hear us on this day. Etymologically, the word “Radonitsa” goes back to the words “kind” and “joy”, and Radonitsa has a special place in the annual circle of church holidays - immediately after Bright Easter Week.

Radonitsa, as it were, obliges Christians not to delve into worries about the death of loved ones, but, on the contrary, to rejoice at their birth into another life - eternal life. The victory over death won by the life and resurrection of Christ displaces the sadness of temporary separation from relatives.

As for the 9th day after Easter, this is simply a matter of the Church Charter. Usually, after the Easter holidays, on the first weekday during which we can serve a memorial service, Radonitsa falls. Throughout Bright Week (week) we rejoice at the Resurrection of the Savior, and only on Tuesday of the second week should we remember our dear departed. First of all, come to Church, order memorial services, pray for the salvation of their souls, and only then go decorate the graves of loved ones.

Is it possible to often mourn the dead and often visit their graves? Or is it better to believe that they are already in the Kingdom of God, which means they are better off than we are, and there is no need to bother them and torment ourselves?

And again I will answer that we need not to kill ourselves and cry, but to pray for our dead. You can remember them both in the temple and with good deeds in memory of them. But keep in mind, we do not know where the person dear to us ended up after death: in the Kingdom of God or in hell. This is why we do good deeds, so that the Lord will take him to himself.

As for tears, there is a sin called “self-eating,” when a person grieves more than necessary, thinks how much he did not give to the deceased, how much he could have done for him, but did not have time or did not consider it necessary. A person must be valued, respected and protected during his lifetime, so that after death he does not have to ask for forgiveness at his grave. After death, it is no longer possible to make up for lost time.

What is better and more correct on Parents' Day: to light a candle in the church for the repose of the departed, to remember them in the soul with kind words, or to gather relatives and friends at home and remember those who have passed on to another world with a dinner with alcohol? And in general, how does the Orthodox Church feel about the presence of alcoholic beverages on the table, both on parent’s day and on the day of the funeral itself?

Alcoholic drinks at funeral dinners are strictly prohibited by the Church. By commemorating deceased loved ones with alcohol, we desecrate their memory and do not honor it. They expect only prayers from us, not sumptuous dinners. We must pray for those who are no longer around. This is done because death very often comes suddenly, and a person simply does not have time to prepare for it, reconcile with God, and repent of all his sins. If at the wake we limit ourselves to just arranging the table (as often happens), spend all our energy on this, and forget about the church commemoration, then we will not bring any benefit to the soul of the deceased.

How does the Orthodox Church relate to the custom of eating in a cemetery after people have cleaned up the graveyard? Is it necessary to leave a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the grave “for the deceased”?

We can remember deceased loved ones in the cemetery, but this must be done according to the rules. Having repaired the grave after winter, we have the right to arrange a memorial dinner in the cemetery. But it must begin with a prayer for the deceased. After the meal, you need to read the prayer again.

Once again I emphasize that alcohol is unacceptable. You should also not leave alcohol or food at the grave. This is a pagan echo, when it was customary to organize not only feasts and dances in cemeteries, but also entire gladiator fights. Food also attracts crowds of drunkards to the graves, who rummage through every wreath in search of alcohol and cigarettes, followed by flocks of stray animals. Both of them trample the graves of people dear to us, and dogs even lie on the tombstones. After all, during our lifetime, none of us would allow a dirty stray dog ​​to lie next to his mother, father or brother. Food also attracts flies and worms to the grave. You cannot stick cigarettes into a grave and light them just because the deceased liked to smoke. I repeat, he only needs our prayers.

But not only people who have drunk themselves go to cemeteries on Parents' Day in search of vodka and food, but also children - in the hope of finding candy, cookies or gingerbread on the grave that their drunken parents will never buy for them. Can't we leave food for them?

These children are sent to the cemetery by degenerate parents. And each such child is looking not only for candy for himself, but also for a scale for mom or dad. They all know that our church has a free refectory where people of any religion can come any day of the week and eat. But neither these children nor their parents come to us, because there is only one rule: you must come to the refectory sober and clean. For the most part, such people are drunk, dirty, and foul-mouthed. They behave unworthily, just like those people who stand collecting alms near the temple gates. Many parishioners, out of ignorance, give them this alms, which is strictly prohibited. After all, they take this money exclusively for alcohol.

Yes, we must give alms, do good deeds, feed and clothe the needy, but we must do this wisely. If we see that a person is really in need, or even better, if we know this person, we are obliged to help him. But if we see a hungry tramp sitting, then we don’t need to give him money, it’s better to buy him food. For he, having drunk away the money you gave him, will turn your good deed into evil.

Where did the custom of decorating the graves of loved ones with flowers and wreaths and marking the burial place by erecting a hill and a cross above it come from?

The Church has a negative attitude towards decorating graves with flowers and wreaths. This custom came to us at the end of the 19th century from Europe, where they began to decorate graves with flowers and wreaths. At that time, merchants bought out entire botanical gardens, and also set up parks on the graves of their ancestors. Even the great Saint John of Kronstadt said that if you have extra money that you want to spend, it is better to distribute it to those in need. Take him to an orphanage, a nursing home, to a place where it is painful, hungry and difficult.

You cannot decorate graves with artificial flowers, this is a deception before God. Even the Church is decorated only with fresh flowers during major holidays. Fake flowers are not a real sacrifice. If you want to decorate the grave, do it with fresh flowers. But provided that these are flowers from your garden. If they are purchased, then you don’t need them either. Better give this money to truly needy people. Your deceased loved one needs good deeds in memory of him, and not a pointless waste of money or a bouquet. We carry these flowers to calm our own souls; the dead only need our prayers. The number of colors (even or odd) does not matter. It's just superstition.

Wreaths are also not needed. This is not our custom. He was condemned by the holy fathers. According to all the rules, an Orthodox grave should be arranged like this: a simple light fence is needed so that the grave is not trampled by animals or people if the mound is erased from the face of the earth. The hill signifies the position of the deceased's body. The cross means that an Orthodox Christian is buried here. During our lifetime, we designate ourselves as Orthodox with a cross on our body. After death - a cross on the grave. Planted in the ground and rising towards the sky, it signifies the faith of Christians that the body of the deceased is here in the earth, and the soul is in heaven, that under the cross is hidden a seed that grows for eternal life in the Kingdom of God. The cross must be wooden.

But it is not durable. Marble slabs look much more beautiful and richer... Let those around you see that a person from a wealthy family is buried here, for whom no expense was spared even after death, that is, they installed an expensive stone monument, and not a cheap wooden cross.

A cross that has rotted and fallen in due time is buried on the grave, then a new one is placed. Stone slabs and steles are absolutely not needed. From a moral point of view, the Church condemns such “eternal” monuments. Because they survive the relatives of the deceased. The cemetery may remain abandoned. It is destroyed by looters, and then the sidewalks are paved with these gravestones. They walk on them, spit, and put out cigarette butts. As a living example, I can cite the cemetery that used to be located where the Spartak stadium is now located. Before the revolution, it was a burial place for Christians. In the early 60s it was destroyed, and the gravestones were stolen throughout the city. It got to the point that sidewalks were paved with them. Many of these slabs are coated with paint and covered with cement. They were sidewalks, they were trampled underfoot. If you want people to walk around in the name of your mother, father, brother and spit on their names, put up a slab like this. The Church does not prohibit it. But this is wrong and not good...People still dig up these slabs and bring them to us at the Resurrection Cathedral, where we keep them.

People often put dentures, glasses, coins in the coffin with the deceased to buy a place in Heaven, even mobile phones. In other words, they bury with the person everything that he often used during his lifetime. Is it correct?

When burying our loved ones, we should not put anything in the coffin other than what is required. And this is a veil, a pectoral cross, a halo on the forehead. If you don't know what to put, you need to ask the church. There should be no foreign objects in the coffin. All of them are an echo of paganism, when they buried in boats, dumping entire herds of slaughtered cattle there... Regarding glasses, then, if the deceased had eight pairs of glasses throughout his life, what, do you order all eight to be put in? Of course not. It's too much. To meet God you do not need glasses or dentures.

Not long ago, one of our priests was invited to the funeral service for a deceased person who passed away young. And what was the priest’s surprise when he saw that a cigarette had been inserted into the deceased’s teeth, and it was smoking! When the priest asked what was going on, the relatives of the deceased replied that during his lifetime he was very fond of smoking. And this is his last cigarette, because after the funeral service he will be interred. The priest refused the funeral service and explained to the relatives of the deceased that their actions were blasphemy and a mockery of the corpse, which he did not want to join.

What should we do when the deceased come to us in a dream and ask for something (a belt, socks, cigarettes, glasses)? What is more correct in this case: to go to the cemetery and leave this thing on the grave, or to light a candle in the temple for the repose of a loved one and pray for him?

This happens quite often, if people do not remember the deceased, do not light candles in the church, do not order magpie, if they do not even have time to pray for him. It is not the dead person who comes into our dreams. Our deceased relative is either in heaven or hell. And they don’t come from there. A guardian angel sent by the Lord comes into our dreams. And this angel takes the image of our departed mothers, fathers, in a word, those who had authoritative significance for us. If we do not listen to them, we will not listen to anyone, even if the Lord himself comes to us.

Asking for things should not be taken literally. The deceased does not ask for a belt, watch or glasses, but for prayer or good deeds in memory of him. After such dreams, you need to order a magpie in the church and light a funeral candle. After visiting the temple, you can light a candle in front of the icon at home and pray for those who are no longer with us.

If possible, buy the item that the deceased asks for and give it to those in need. You cannot bury anything on the grave. The burial site is not a garbage dump. This place is holy. It's like a temple. You won’t bury anything on the territory of the Church, will you? You cannot do this at the grave of a once dearly loved or respected person.

The deceased's belongings should be distributed to those in need after his funeral. I would also like to remind you that older people who already feel the arrival of their own death need to have time to divide all their property between their heirs while still alive, and need to give them instructions on how to live on. The idea that if a person has given everything away, it means he will soon die is a superstition. It cannot be allowed that after the death of a person, when his body has not yet cooled down, a war arises between the heirs over who will get more and who will get less valuable property of the deceased, the soul of the deceased, looking at this, will grieve. All your material issues need to be resolved here and now, that is, during your lifetime.

- Is it possible to light a funeral candle in a church if you don’t know for sure whether the deceased person was baptized or not?

You can light candles. However, you cannot order memorial services and magpies. You also cannot pray for him with church prayer. You can only pray in your own words: Lord forgive all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, if this is possible.

- How often should the deceased be remembered?

It is very important to remember the deceased on the day of his death, on the 9th and 40th day, at six months and on the anniversary after death, as well as on the day of his earthly birth, on the day of remembrance of the saint whose name he bore, and on parental days . According to church tradition, for forty days after death the soul of the deceased prepares for God's judgment. From the first to the third day she stays in the places of the earthly life of the deceased, from the third to the ninth she is shown the heavenly abodes, from the ninth to the fortieth - the torment of sinners in hell. On the fortieth day, God’s decision is made where the soul of the deceased will be until the Last Judgment - when souls will again unite with transformed bodies, and the endless life of all humanity will begin in a new, transformed world, where everyone will take their place according to the passage of earthly life and largely depending from the Church’s prayers for him after his death. Therefore, the Church established special commemoration of the dead on the third, ninth and fortieth days. And, of course, we need to remember the deceased every time we visit church. You need to go here as often as possible. This is important both for us, the living, and for those who have already died and for whom we pray.

- How does the Orthodox Church relate to cremation?

The method of burial through cremation of the body, quite popular now in big cities, is completely non-Orthodox. It cannot be acceptable to a believer.

Thanks for the informative conversation. Everything you said can only be learned in the Church, which, alas, there is not always time to visit. What are your wishes to the family members?

Remember, the goal of every Christian’s life is the salvation of the soul. That is, inheritance after bodily death and the Second Coming of Christ of eternal blissful sojourn with God. And the more good deeds we do, the more sincere prayers we address to God, the more grace we will receive from him. Love your loved ones during life, here and now. Then, after death, it will be too late. And it is better to speak words of love to living parents today than to cry at their grave tomorrow.

The conversation was conducted by Elena FOMENKO

Orthodox culture traditionally has great respect for the dead. In this regard, a special time is set aside during which people can honor their deceased relatives with prayer. Such days are called parental Saturdays, and in the church calendar there are seven such days a year. Let us immediately make a reservation that we are not talking about commemorating purely parents. These days, one should remember all deceased loved ones, and not just first-degree blood relatives. It’s just that traditionally, when people come to a cemetery, they strive for the resting place of their loved ones. Therefore, over time, special days of remembrance of the dead received the popular name “parental”, then this name acquired a completely official status.

Not every one of us can afford to mark them all due to a busy work schedule, but the most important ones should not be skipped. These include the two Ecumenical Parental Saturdays, when Orthodox Christians honor all departed Christians. The first such Saturday falls one week before the start of Lent, and the second - before Pentecost. Every year their dates shift. What do they do at the cemetery on Parents' Day and how is it usually celebrated?

One of the first questions that arises before a person who is not very well versed in church customs is this: is it necessary to visit a cemetery on parent’s day? According to many clergy, this point is important, but not dominant. The first thing a Christian believer should do on Parents' Saturday is to go to church for worship.

Moreover, first you need to go to church on Friday evening, the day before parent’s Saturday. At this time, a great memorial service is served there. And the next morning, go again to the house of God, where you will listen to the funeral Divine Liturgy and then a general memorial service. This gives those praying the opportunity to ask the Lord for mercy for the deceased and forgiveness of their sins. In addition, it will be convenient to submit a note with the names of the deceased so that the church can pray for their repose.

Another tradition of parenting days is the offering of food and wine to the temple. The first are used by priests to distribute alms to the poor and homeless, who are looked after by each parish. And the wine can subsequently be used in the temple in order to perform the liturgy. Pay attention to what falls out before the start of fasting, so when choosing products that you plan to donate to the temple, give preference to fasting ones.

Only after visiting the church can you go to the cemetery to remember the dead near the graves. There, first of all, light a church candle or a memorial lamp, which can be placed on a gravestone. Then pray for the deceased and be silent for a while, remembering him.

According to church tradition, going to the cemetery on this day is not a firm requirement. Many priests agree that this can be done on any other convenient day, without being particularly tied to specific dates. For our deceased relatives and friends, the memory of them and prayers for their repose are more important than some mechanically performed actions. But going to church on parenting days is considered a stricter recommendation. Therefore, a person who wants to properly honor the memory of his ancestors should postpone all plans in advance for two days at once - Friday evening and the first half of Saturday.

But even in the issue of compulsory church attendance on parental Saturday, relaxations are possible for people who, for objective reasons, cannot attend the liturgy and memorial service. In this case, believers should retire to their home near the “red corner” (the place where the icons hang) and sincerely pray for the departed.

The main things on parenting days are the high thoughts and prayers of believers, the memory of the dead, and visiting the place of eternal rest is considered, although important, but a secondary action.

What should you take to the cemetery?

When going to burial places on parent’s day, you can, in principle, come empty-handed. It is important to take only blessed candles to light them at the grave. But since few of us cannot afford to come to the resting place of our relatives often, then, as a rule, if we decide to go there, we try to arrange a wide wake. At the same time, many make serious mistakes because they do not know the rules about what they take to the cemetery on Parents' Day.

First of all, it is permissible to take fresh funeral flowers to decorate the tombstone with. At the same time, some priests do not recommend buying wreaths of artificial flowers to decorate graves, while others treat this issue leniently. The fact is that there are no special religious rules in this regard. Some clergy advise refraining from artificial flowers, based solely on their environmental friendliness, and not on any special religious taboos. Therefore, the issue of flowers remains at the discretion of each individual person.

Another thing is that there are a number of instructions regarding how to decorate a tombstone with flowers. The following rules have been adopted.

1. The number of flowers in a bouquet or wreath must be even.
2. It is necessary to place the bouquet with the corollas of flowers at the head of the grave.
3. The color scheme of the buds is in restrained tones.

It is acceptable to take some food products to the cemetery on parenting days, in particular sweets: cookies and candies. Surely everyone has seen bags with sweets inside laid out on graves, since many believe that by leaving sweets on a gravestone, they are thereby “treating” their deceased relatives with them. Moreover, even such seemingly inappropriate things as glasses filled with vodka or other alcohol, as well as cigarettes, are often found on graves. The clergy call such offerings superstitions that have survived to this day since pagan times. Then such actions were considered the norm, but now such offerings from believing Orthodox Christians are unacceptable.

Food brought to the cemetery on parenting days can be left, but not on the tombstones, but nearby - on special tables that are often installed near the graves. This is done so that poor people can come, take culturally left food for themselves, and thereby remember the deceased. Another argument expressed against bringing food to graves is that it often becomes the prey of crows or stray dogs, of which there are quite a lot there. They will only tear the package, take away the candy wrappers and wrappers, and litter it.

The most reasonable thing would be not to leave food near the grave, even on the table, but to distribute it to the poor, who usually beg at the entrance to the territory. But in relation to cigarettes and alcoholic beverages left at the cemetery, the church clearly speaks out negatively.

No one forbade you to work

Parents' Saturday is considered a day of mourning, since we must remember the dead, but work is not physically prohibited. Therefore, it is quite acceptable to clean up a little on and around the graves. We are not talking about general cleaning, but rather about touching up the appearance: you may need to remove weeds or replace wilted flowers.

It is recommended to do a lot of tidying up in advance so that on parent’s day you can devote time to prayers and thoughts about your deceased loved ones. As a rule, people restore order to the cemetery after winter, as soon as the snow has melted and the ground has dried out. Then by parent’s day there will no longer be a need to do a large amount of work.

This day can also be dedicated to creative activities. In particular, it is allowed to do such work as mowing the lawn if it is planted, whitewashing trees or planting seedlings.

These flowers are most often planted near graves.

Bulbous flowers are good for the cemetery because they are unpretentious and beautiful. Their disadvantages include the fact that they bloom mainly in spring and early summer. And also in the fall they must be dug up in order to be replanted next spring. It will be much easier with unpretentious annuals, such as marigolds, or with chrysanthemums and other perennials that do not require special care. The only condition: choose low-growing varieties of flowers so that they do not obscure the tombstone and monument. On Parents' Day, it is also allowed to tint the fence and adjust the cross, if necessary.

But what you absolutely cannot do in a cemetery is leave trash behind. This shows disrespect not only for the dead, but also for the living who come there to visit their deceased relatives. And such a strict rule applies not only to parenting days.

What to do at a wake

One of the most pressing issues that confuses many modern people concerns how to commemorate parents’ day in a cemetery. It is quite common for people to come to resting places to remember their loved ones, and as a result, the commemoration smoothly flows into real celebrations. The clergy consider such behavior in the cemetery impermissible on any day of the year, not just on parental days.

It is permissible to remember the deceased near the grave; you can sip a little alcohol and eat it with a small amount of food. But this is where the commemoration should end. You need to eat at home, and not in a cemetery, where it is better to indulge in thoughts about the eternal life of the soul and prayers.

It is allowed to carry foodstuffs such as pancakes, colored eggs, Easter eggs, and kutya to the cemetery on parenting days. Such food would be appropriate for a modest funeral. You can bring alcohol to the cemetery, but it is recommended to consume it in extremely small quantities. Moreover, if a person has problems with alcohol and a strong desire to drink, then the priests advise, on the contrary, to restrain his impulse and remember only with food, thereby paying tribute to the deceased. In addition, during a small memorial meal, it is unacceptable to raise glasses and clink them while toasting - this is bad form. After remembering the deceased, do not forget to carefully clean up after yourself so that scattered scraps do not attract the attention of stray dogs to the grave. And even more so, do not pour the remaining alcoholic drinks onto the mound.

Also, some people are concerned about the question of how to behave correctly at the cemetery on Parents' Saturday, so as not to incur the displeasure of others. This day is considered a mourning day among Orthodox Christians, and therefore you need to behave accordingly: do not talk loudly and do not laugh violently. Still, the place itself is not conducive to a pleasure picnic. Therefore, modesty and calmness in behavior will be most appropriate. The best way to remember the deceased is to pray with a lit candle in your hands. If possible, invite a priest to the grave to perform a litia (this is a short funeral service).

Sometimes understanding the traditions associated with remembering the dead seems difficult due to the layering of religious rules with pagan beliefs. Unfortunately, the latter turned out to be satisfied with the strong ones and to some extent even became part of the mentality of the Russian people. Therefore, many misconceptions still remain common, such as offering a glass to the deceased.

To finally understand this or that question about the rules, you can seek advice from a priest, who will happily tell you what to do correctly during a particular religious holiday. As for choosing the day to remember your relatives, it is not necessary to do this on church dates. The clergy say that you can come to the cemetery at any convenient time. In particular, remember on the birthday of the deceased or on the day of his angel.

Radonitsa or Parents' Day after Easter in 2014 comes on April 29. Radonitsa is a memorial day, according to customs and traditions, on Parent’s Day they remember deceased relatives and friends by visiting cemeteries. Let's remember in this article what signs there are on Radonitsa, the customs and traditions of Parents' Day, how to pray and how to remember the departed.

Radonitsa occurs on the 9th day after Easter. According to customs, on this day people usually tried to appease the dead, because the time of nature’s heyday was coming, winter was finally receding, and it was also believed that the time of the dead sleep of the entire earth was receding.

Radonitsa is a holiday on which the Orthodox Church especially commemorates all the departed. “On Radonitsa they plow in the morning, cry during the day, and jump in the evening,” that is, they begin agricultural work, visit graves and then have fun in the evening.

In the annual circle of church holidays, Radonitsa or Parents' Day is given a special place. This holiday seems to oblige Christians not to delve into worries about the death of loved ones, but, on the contrary, to rejoice at their birth into another life - eternal life.

On Radonitsa there is a custom of celebrating at the graves of deceased relatives, where they bring colored eggs and other Easter dishes, and part of the prepared treat is given to the poor for the funeral of the soul.

In Christianity, the ritual of remembrance is attending a church service. It is best to remember the departed with prayer; this is the most important thing that the living can do for those who have passed on to another world.

Ideally, commemoration consists of attending a service in a church, a memorial service in a cemetery, for which you can invite a priest.

On Parents' Day after Easter It is important that there is order on the graves of the deceased; special attention is paid to the cross, which must stand straight.

When you come to the Radonitsa cemetery, you must light a candle and pray.

Be sure to bring flowers to the cemetery - real or artificial.

What drinks can you drink in a cemetery?

Previously, villages used to brew funeral drinks - jelly and compote. As for vodka, the tradition was this: it was given to those who dug graves in winter, so that people would not freeze in the cold.

Special days are established to commemorate the dead . This is Dmitrovskaya Saturday, the last Saturday before Maslenitsa, Tuesday in St. Thomas's week (radinitsa, or radonitsa), Saturday before Trinity Day (parents' Saturday), Trinity Day.

Radonitsa 2014: signs and customs

Existing signs for Radonitsa 2014 are largely related to the weather. It is believed that if it rains on Radonitsa before lunch, and the wind blows after lunch, this means that the souls of the dead are worried that they will not be visited or remembered.

Another sign is also related to the weather. According to signs, what the weather was like on Palm Sunday, it was similar on Easter and on Parents' Day.

On Parents' Day (or Radonitsa) you can see a dream from relatives, which can be prophetic. To call him, they came to the cemetery and, bowing, said: “Radunitsa, St. Thomas Week, the day of all the departed, I call you to help. Please give me a prophetic dream. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen".

1 Why are memorial days called “parental days”?

There are at least two explanations for this name. According to the first, parents are one of the most beloved and dear people. If the mother and father are no longer alive, then they should be remembered and prayed for first. According to another version, the name comes from the belief that after death a person goes to his forefathers or, in other words, to his parents.

2 What is Radonitsa?

Radonitsa is a parent's day after Easter, specially set aside for remembering the departed. Its date depends on the Resurrection of Christ: it is the second Tuesday after Easter.

3 What should you do on Parents' Day 2018?

On Radonitsa, believers go to the temple to pray for the dead, visit the cemetery, clean the graves, and remember their departed relatives with love and prayer.

4 Why pray for the dead on Parents' Day?

The deceased cannot do good deeds themselves. Orthodox believe that sincere prayer can appease God and help the departed.

5 Why do Orthodox Christians rejoice on Parents' Day?

Parents' Day comes after Bright Week, and this has a special meaning. Before Radonitsa, believers glorified the Resurrection of Christ. On Parents' Day, the time comes to remember everyone who died, and not to yearn for them, but to rejoice that they have passed on to eternal life. Christians call the dead “dead,” that is, “asleep” until the general resurrection. Sometimes Radonitsa is called the Easter of the Dead.

6 What not to do on Parents' Day?

• On Parents' Day you cannot smoke or drink alcohol in the cemetery.
• You cannot pour alcohol on a grave.
• You cannot leave a glass, bread or treats on the grave, because this is not a Christian, but a pagan tradition.
• There is no need to be baptized on photos, monuments or monuments.
• On Parents' Day, you should not quarrel or conflict.
• On Radonitsa, it is impossible to turn a wake into a feast and discussion of the deceased.
• You can't go to a cemetery drunk.

7 In which countries is it customary to remember the dead on Radonitsa?

Orthodox Christians commemorate the dead on Radonitsa in Russia, Ukraine and Belarus.

8 Is it possible to get married on Radonitsa?

It is forbidden. But not because the dead are commemorated on Radonitsa, but because it is Tuesday. On the eve of the fast day - Wednesday - weddings are not held.

9 Is it possible to work for Radonitsa?

Yes, you can. If you can’t go to the cemetery on Parents’ Day because of work, you can do it on another day.

10 In which regions is Radonitsa a day off?

In some Russian regions, the government decides to provide a day off for Radonitsa. In 2018, April 17 is officially recognized as a holiday in the Republic of Adygea, Karachay-Cherkessia, Krasnodar Territory, Bryansk, Saratov, Kemerovo, Volgograd and Orenburg regions, reports the portal Zavedeno.com. Previously, altapress.ru wrote that the head of the Altai Republic, Alexander Berdnikov, declared Parents' Day a day off in 2018.

Visiting a cemetery comes with some traditions and superstitions. It is believed that this land belongs to the dead, and they have their own laws that must be observed by the living. How to behave in a cemetery? What can you do and what is strictly prohibited?

Visiting the graves

Visiting the graves of relatives, friends, acquaintances is a tradition that exists in every religion. But the rules for visiting the deceased may vary. According to Orthodox belief, a cemetery is a sacred place. The cross on the grave of the deceased is located at the feet, and the image of the crucifixion on it is facing the face of the deceased.

Draws the attention of Christians to the fact that living relatives monitor the graves of their deceased loved ones. The fence and cross must be painted on time. The well-groomed grave and fresh flowers on it symbolize the memory of the deceased.

How to behave in a cemetery? Is it possible to leave cookies and sweets at the grave of the deceased? Orthodox traditions of visiting a cemetery have strict restrictions in this regard.

Orthodox customs of visiting a cemetery

Prayers are read at will. However, there are special prayers for the deceased:

• About a deceased Christian.
• Widower's prayer.
• Widow's prayer.
• About deceased children.
• Prayer for deceased parents.
• Akathist about the one who died.
• Akathist about the repose of the dead.

Priests warn that it is forbidden to drink alcohol at the graves of Orthodox Christians. Visiting a cemetery is not a fun holiday.

Under no circumstances should you pour alcohol or sprinkle crumbs on it. Such actions insult the deceased. It’s better to clean up the grave and remain silent, remembering the deceased. It is prohibited to bring artificial flowers. But you can plant fresh flowers or other plants - they are a symbol of eternal life.

Parents' days

Parents' days - this is what Ecumenical days are called. On these days, it is customary to come to the cemetery and visit the graves of deceased relatives. There are no specific dates of the month on which Parents' Saturdays fall. This is due to the fact that the Lenten-Easter cycle is a transitional one.

• Parents' Saturdays. These are Saturdays in the 2nd, 3rd, 4th week of Lent.
• Trinity Parents' Saturday. This is the day before the holiday
• Meat Saturday. Its time is 8 days before Lent.
• This is the Saturday before November 8th. On this day, killed soldiers are remembered.

In addition to Parental Saturdays, there are other days of remembrance:

• Radonitsa. This is Tuesday of the 2nd week after Easter.
• warriors - May 9.

How to behave in a cemetery?

When visiting a cemetery, you should behave respectfully towards the deceased. Emotional excesses will not lead to good. It is prohibited to talk loudly, sing, shout, have fun, or cry. You cannot walk on burial mounds - there are special paths and paths for this.

There are water pumps, wells or taps on the cemetery grounds. It is intended only for cleaning graves. It is prohibited to use cemetery water for drinking. Drinking water must be brought from home or purchased on the way.

How to behave in a cemetery? Is it possible to leave the deceased’s belongings at the grave? The deceased's favorite cup, watch or other items that he liked can be left at the grave.

You cannot take foreign objects home from a cemetery or grave. They are saturated with “dead” energy. If any thing is taken from the grave, it should be replaced with another. For example, a flower vase breaks - you need to put a new one.

Wipe the monument or fence from dirt and dust only with unnecessary rags. After use, it is thrown into special garbage containers on the territory of the cemetery. Under no circumstances should you use the things of the living to tidy up the grave.

Restrictions on visiting the cemetery

How to behave correctly at a cemetery on Parents' Day? Who can come to the grave? Cemeteries have long been used by dark sorcerers to perform rituals or collect necessary ingredients. The priests assure that a true believer cannot be affected by magical powers.

• pregnant women;
• nursing mothers;
• women with a small (or infant) child.

Pregnant or recently given birth women, children under 7 years of age are sensitive to negative energy. Therefore, it is better for them to avoid the cemetery area. According to legend, a magician can use a special ritual to exchange the life of a seriously ill person for the life of a small child or unborn baby.

How to behave at a funeral?

The funeral of an Orthodox Christian begins with a funeral service in his home or church. For this ceremony, women traditionally cover their heads with a headscarf. Wear a dress (skirt) to the knees or below. T-shirts, shorts, and any frivolous clothing are prohibited. For men - a formal suit or trousers with a shirt (sweater).

How to behave at a funeral in a cemetery? During a funeral, some relatives stay home to prepare the funeral dinner. Attendance at a funeral is voluntary. If you don’t want to or don’t feel well, you don’t have to go to the cemetery.

During a funeral, strong emotions should also be avoided - loud crying and inappropriate actions leave a painful impression. During a funeral, relatives walk behind the coffin. Blood relatives do not wash the floor in the house of the deceased - it is better to do this to good friends and colleagues.

At the cemetery, after saying goodbye, they kiss the crown on the forehead and hand of the deceased. The icon and fresh flowers should be taken from the coffin. Then the face of the deceased is covered with a shroud and the coffin is closed. The towels on which the coffin was lowered into the ground remain in the grave. The men who carried the deceased are given new towels as a souvenir. Women are given new handkerchiefs. After the cemetery, the relatives invite everyone to a funeral dinner.

You can invite a priest to an Orthodox funeral. Burying with music is not Christian.

The Holy Fathers warn that on Parents' Day you should not cry and kill yourself. Prayers, almsgiving, ordering a memorial service - this is how Orthodox Christians remember the dead. You should arrive at the cemetery on Parents' Saturdays in the morning.

How to behave at the cemetery on Parents' Day? The Orthodox Church allows a funeral dinner at the cemetery. Before and after a meal you should read a prayer. As already mentioned, it is prohibited to drink alcohol in the cemetery.

If there is food left over from a funeral dinner, you cannot leave it at the grave of the “dead.” It is better to give it to the poor, asking them to remember the deceased in their prayers.

The words “genus” and “joy” became the basis for the name “radonitsa”. How to behave at the cemetery in Radonitsa? Since ancient times, it has been customary for the whole family to come to the cemetery on this day. Walk around the graves of your deceased relatives, remember their good deeds and deeds.

Appearance

Having figured out how to behave in a cemetery, you should think about the right clothes for visiting it. Usually the color scheme is dark and dim. No cheerful flowers or frivolous polka dots. Strict, comfortable clothes for the weather, without shorts or minis. Legs and arms should be covered as much as possible.

In shoes you should adhere to the same principle. Closed shoes in muted tones are ideal for visiting a cemetery. High heels or flip-flops are not permitted in the churchyard.

Cemetery signs

You should only come to the cemetery with your head covered. Otherwise, lost hair (or other biomaterial of a living person) can be used in black rituals.

After visiting the grave, all disposable items (cups, napkins, plates) are thrown into a trash container on the territory of the cemetery. Or they are washed at home with running water.

The belongings of the living cannot be left in the cemetery. Or take something home from the grave.

If during a visit to the cemetery a thing falls to the ground, it is better to leave it there, it already belongs to the dead. If this is a necessary item (for example, keys), you should rinse it with running water.

You should leave the cemetery the same way you came. Even if the purpose of the visit was several graves and there is an opportunity to exit from the other side of the cemetery, you should not do this.